The Modern Adoptive Mummy

We wanted this so badly specifically I wanted it the most. It got to the point where I couldn't accept that I was childless. It was not the path I had wanted for my life and I had not been able to successfully bury these feelings (see much earlier posts for my feelings about this!). After some shocked and bemused discussions we dipped our toes in and skirted in the shallow end for quite some time, gathering information and time after time being astonished that we were a viable couple for adoption. In truth, I kept being astounded by this fact until the day they came home! So what did WE think adoption was? I knew in my heart you didn't get babies anymore- this was not a shock to me to find this out. I thought the process would be grueling and we would be weaned out at some point. I thought it would take a while before a child or children would call me Mummy. I thought I would end up with a child or children with a seriously sad background of abuse. I thought I w...

I have seen and used this hashtag on instagram and twitter on many occasions. I first saw it used on instagram and it spoke to me  of happiness, new beginnings and all the positivity of the children's lives now they had found stability. What was 'RO CKING' about adoption for me? A number of things and in no particular order: The fact they were settling and thriving. The fact they were sometimes sharing wonderful sharing moments (especially as mine have more reasons than 'normal' to not share well). The fact they were in wonder at new things, places, experiences. The fact that they tried new foods, new activities and in many cases overcame fear to do them. The fact they were showing how loving and caring they could be, first with the dogs and then with us and family and friends. The fact that there are moments of utter joy and happiness for them and us. The fact that some of their delayed learning and development is coming on leaps and bounds (largely cau...

I am not talking maternity/ adoption leave here- I am talking about having to take parental leave days from work. Okay, this is not specific to adoptive parents, it is all parents but I will go on to adoption specifics later... I did not preempt exactly how many I would need to take in such a short amount of time. I mean, in the grand scheme of things it isn't that many but it is enough to make every one a day filled with worry, frustration, guilt and fear. Worry- How will I be thought of at work? 'Oh, another day off? r=Really? Hmmm' or 'Can't her husband/ mother/ dog look after them?'...Often it is those that are child-free that say these things (okay, not the dog comment!) but not always. I have heard these things said by people about others in the same situation in the past so I assume someone, somewhere may be saying them about me. Am I looked at as a lame excuse of an employee skiving an easy day off? The brain goes into overdrive and the worry about...