The Modern Adoptive Mummy

Sometimes it is little things that remind you that your child is not a 'normal' child ( I hate that word- what is normal? Everyone's 'normal' is something different!). I am not sure what else to say though- we don't need anything to remind us they are  adopted as it is a living and breathing thing that is always with us as adoptive parents, well I believe that to be true. So, I am sticking with there term 'normal' in this case. Beyond needing to know where their own parent is- 'Where daddy?' (in the loo), 'Where mummy?' (in the kitchen), 'Where daddy?' (gone to work, you know that, you said goodbye to him...), 'Where mummy?' (in the same room as you, just look around)- we are reminded that our children don't have the same viewpoint as other children- or maybe they do but we know it comes from loss and adoption so it is deeper rooted as an issue and not just a passing question or concern. How are we reminded?   Films ...

Last week I attended an adoption open evening as a guest speaker for Coram. I was nervous and excited - I wanted to come across as truthful but not negative and certainly not all rosy tinted specs- a good mix of my story, what to expect and positive vibes for the process. I want to give back to the community- hence I became a media champion but also I want to talk to others, to encourage them that this step is a positive one, a hard one, but a positive one. It was an enjoyable evening and I hope I have helped in any small way. it was lovely to see everyone there signing up to proceed into discussions :) Before you begin 1)  Don't listen to advice from anyone who hasn't been through the process in some way or who doesn't have a good working knowledge of the process. Birth parenting is very different to adoptive parenting in many ways. Certainly  don't take any 'horror stories' of disruption (when a placement breaks down). extreme 'poor' behaviour or ...