The Modern Adoptive Mummy

Dear little one, I know you are hurting. I know you feel loss and are confused. I know you cannot make sense of your life story and I know this is making you act out and rebel at times and generally want to control every aspect of your world and I know you cannot tell me why or how you feel and cannot express exactly what it is and I know you may never be able to express your loss and pain even when you can read all the words and comb through all the Social Worker reports. I know this is why, for instance, on a ferry to a foreign land on a mini cruise, you spent time screaming and turning lights on and off and slamming the bathroom door. I know it made you hide under the bed whilst laughing at us for doing this. I know you were trying to find some control in an unknown place. I know you didn’t mean to be challenging and I know you don’t know why you were being like this either. So, should I not take you anywhere new? Should I keep everything the same, day in, day out