A sad goodbye and moving forward
When you have panel dates, introduction dates and move in dates things start to get very scary.
We have known the potential start date for introductions to start since the Appreciation Day and last week this moved to an earlier date, 4 days earlier. this is incredibly exciting but took a weekend away from final preparations. I know how we work though, we cannot really get things done until we are at the wire, a knifes edge, the edge of the cliff- only at this point can we get things done. I certainly was always the last moment essay writer at university and life has never really changed in that respect!
What do we have left to do? not a lot really- a little more de-cluttering and sorting clothes out (ours) and giving the house a last scrub to make it as clean as possible. We do have some serious de-clothing to do in order to make some space but other than that it is no big deal to get the house into shape.
It is odd, that as I type I can see a framed picture of Holmes and Watson on the side. we were advised when shooting a dvd to have a picture of them in the home. i have resisted doing this until now as it feels a bit too much like tempting fate to have them actually there, among other photos of friends and family- not that doing this could actually change anything about the way the world turns but even so the inherent superstition in the heart of most living in this weird and wonderful country means we don't want to upset some unknown force that will somehow decide on our fate based on the presence of a framed photo or lack thereof. It oddly feels 'normal' and is helping me to think about then there wil be pictures everywhere of them- and of them growing up!
the reality hits home more when you receive (and then receive several updated versions) the introduction plan. This details what will happen each day, time builds up over the days, starting with a couple of hours and building quite quickly to full days. This takes place in their current foster home and area and in our home and on the last day we bring them home to stay. We have a lot of driving to do back and forth and a lot of time with them therefore in the car- I am alittle scared about the prospect of dirving with a tantruming Holmes and how we keep them amuse on an hour long journey! We will do breakfast time, full days and dinner and bed time routines and get them into bed so we have done a full day (albeit in parts) before they some home to us.
We have thought about how to introduce the dogs and who is going to look after them (mum is on holiday the first few days of visits- so this has been worked around). I am going to be so worried with letting the dogs off the lead in the home but we know they have been fine with a 2 year old, but all the same I worry as the dogs have no idea what is happening!
Finalising adoption leave at work is odd, sitting round a table and walking about dates see oh so real and somewhat odd! I am only talking 11 weeks as Karl's adoption leave pay is a lot better than mine, so under the new law that allows leave to be split, Karl will take over from me. I at least get the benefit of school holidays to share some of that leave together. I am still gutted that i can't take longer but it really does make sense for Karl to take over and me go back full time as I earn more than him- doesn't mean I have to like that fact though! Karl is very much looking forward to being the house husband!
We had to shoot an introduction DVD for Holmes and Watson so they could hear us speak and see our house (we have already done introduction books). This was an odd thing to do- acting like we were hyped up on helium balloons and talking like children's telly presenters! We shot it in little sections, arriving at the front door and going in , cooking breakfast, eating breakfast, watching telly, the dogs, the cat, the bedroom,the bath and the garden. We tried to make things fun (like splashing bubbles on our face in the bathroom and playing with bath toys, daddy trying to ride on the crane is was too big for etc). The dogs refused to do as we wanted them to as soon as we pressed record- so trying to talk about 'being gentle with the doggies' as they were struggling to get away was not easy!
we manged it and the outtakes were amusing (the cat scratching and struggling to get out of Karl's arms despite the temptation of treats!) and Karl's 'angry face' as soon as the scene was finished (not sure why, resting angry face maybe?).
One very sad moment, the day before we filmed the DVD, was that rather unexpectedly we had to have our cat, Byron, put to sleep. He had been a bit on the skinny side but we put that down to age but he rather suddenly loked very ill and had laboured breathing. He didn't improve overnight and we discussed that he needed to go to the vets, we both felt it was the end of this him as he looked so sad and in distress. We also felt that if we left it any longer not only would it be cruel to our cat but cruel to Holmes and Watson, who would have received books and a DVD that included him and when they got here he would no longer be around- or we may have to explain the concept of loss and dying if he had to be put down after they arrived. Adopted children had already experienced a lot of loss, birth parents, siblings, foster carers...loss is not something I want them to associate with their first few weeks here. So we made the decision to see if he was, as suspected, on death's door or if it was a curable thing, we felt it needed to be done as soon as possible. the poor little thing was very ill and as is the way with cats, didn't present as seriously ill until the very end. It was a very sad day, he was not overly old, 11, and we know he had had a nice life. this means that in a couple of days time we will need to quickly change one page of our introduction books to take him out of them and edit the books- so now we will go to panel with scissors and glue and a silver pen to re do the books a little.
Karl said it was like the universe couldn't give us something nice without taking something away. It does feel like that but it is better then didn't ever know him than they see him ill and dying.
So now, we have a finished DVD, dates and days arranged for introductions ans we await panel in two days!
So very excited, scared with a dose of awe thrown in- life is about to change so far beyond recognition- just waiting on the that very final YES from panel and ratification. I constantly feel a little sick at the moment!
We have known the potential start date for introductions to start since the Appreciation Day and last week this moved to an earlier date, 4 days earlier. this is incredibly exciting but took a weekend away from final preparations. I know how we work though, we cannot really get things done until we are at the wire, a knifes edge, the edge of the cliff- only at this point can we get things done. I certainly was always the last moment essay writer at university and life has never really changed in that respect!
What do we have left to do? not a lot really- a little more de-cluttering and sorting clothes out (ours) and giving the house a last scrub to make it as clean as possible. We do have some serious de-clothing to do in order to make some space but other than that it is no big deal to get the house into shape.
It is odd, that as I type I can see a framed picture of Holmes and Watson on the side. we were advised when shooting a dvd to have a picture of them in the home. i have resisted doing this until now as it feels a bit too much like tempting fate to have them actually there, among other photos of friends and family- not that doing this could actually change anything about the way the world turns but even so the inherent superstition in the heart of most living in this weird and wonderful country means we don't want to upset some unknown force that will somehow decide on our fate based on the presence of a framed photo or lack thereof. It oddly feels 'normal' and is helping me to think about then there wil be pictures everywhere of them- and of them growing up!
the reality hits home more when you receive (and then receive several updated versions) the introduction plan. This details what will happen each day, time builds up over the days, starting with a couple of hours and building quite quickly to full days. This takes place in their current foster home and area and in our home and on the last day we bring them home to stay. We have a lot of driving to do back and forth and a lot of time with them therefore in the car- I am alittle scared about the prospect of dirving with a tantruming Holmes and how we keep them amuse on an hour long journey! We will do breakfast time, full days and dinner and bed time routines and get them into bed so we have done a full day (albeit in parts) before they some home to us.
We have thought about how to introduce the dogs and who is going to look after them (mum is on holiday the first few days of visits- so this has been worked around). I am going to be so worried with letting the dogs off the lead in the home but we know they have been fine with a 2 year old, but all the same I worry as the dogs have no idea what is happening!
Finalising adoption leave at work is odd, sitting round a table and walking about dates see oh so real and somewhat odd! I am only talking 11 weeks as Karl's adoption leave pay is a lot better than mine, so under the new law that allows leave to be split, Karl will take over from me. I at least get the benefit of school holidays to share some of that leave together. I am still gutted that i can't take longer but it really does make sense for Karl to take over and me go back full time as I earn more than him- doesn't mean I have to like that fact though! Karl is very much looking forward to being the house husband!
We had to shoot an introduction DVD for Holmes and Watson so they could hear us speak and see our house (we have already done introduction books). This was an odd thing to do- acting like we were hyped up on helium balloons and talking like children's telly presenters! We shot it in little sections, arriving at the front door and going in , cooking breakfast, eating breakfast, watching telly, the dogs, the cat, the bedroom,the bath and the garden. We tried to make things fun (like splashing bubbles on our face in the bathroom and playing with bath toys, daddy trying to ride on the crane is was too big for etc). The dogs refused to do as we wanted them to as soon as we pressed record- so trying to talk about 'being gentle with the doggies' as they were struggling to get away was not easy!
we manged it and the outtakes were amusing (the cat scratching and struggling to get out of Karl's arms despite the temptation of treats!) and Karl's 'angry face' as soon as the scene was finished (not sure why, resting angry face maybe?).
One very sad moment, the day before we filmed the DVD, was that rather unexpectedly we had to have our cat, Byron, put to sleep. He had been a bit on the skinny side but we put that down to age but he rather suddenly loked very ill and had laboured breathing. He didn't improve overnight and we discussed that he needed to go to the vets, we both felt it was the end of this him as he looked so sad and in distress. We also felt that if we left it any longer not only would it be cruel to our cat but cruel to Holmes and Watson, who would have received books and a DVD that included him and when they got here he would no longer be around- or we may have to explain the concept of loss and dying if he had to be put down after they arrived. Adopted children had already experienced a lot of loss, birth parents, siblings, foster carers...loss is not something I want them to associate with their first few weeks here. So we made the decision to see if he was, as suspected, on death's door or if it was a curable thing, we felt it needed to be done as soon as possible. the poor little thing was very ill and as is the way with cats, didn't present as seriously ill until the very end. It was a very sad day, he was not overly old, 11, and we know he had had a nice life. this means that in a couple of days time we will need to quickly change one page of our introduction books to take him out of them and edit the books- so now we will go to panel with scissors and glue and a silver pen to re do the books a little.
Karl said it was like the universe couldn't give us something nice without taking something away. It does feel like that but it is better then didn't ever know him than they see him ill and dying.
So now, we have a finished DVD, dates and days arranged for introductions ans we await panel in two days!
So very excited, scared with a dose of awe thrown in- life is about to change so far beyond recognition- just waiting on the that very final YES from panel and ratification. I constantly feel a little sick at the moment!
Comments
Post a Comment