National Adoption Week- What are you waiting for? Do it!



We are in the middle of National Adoption Week. This is hosted by the website and organisation First 4 Adoption. The idea is to put out a national drive for adopters to come forward to adopt the 1000+ children currently in care. Adopter figures rise and fall and currently there has been a drop in people wanting to adopt- meaning children spend longer in care.

You can adopt in several ways, through your Local Authority or a surrounding Local Authority (L.A.) or through a Voluntary Adoption Agency (V.A.). The L.A. will try to place you with children in your local area (or the area local to them) and a V.A. will help you to seek for a child across all of the U.K.

Why adopt? This is not an easy route to take in the U.K. but it is not as daunting as you may think. Why do it? Maybe you long for a family and nature has denied you? Maybe you have a birth child or children but want to offer a child in care a home? Maybe adoption is your first choice? There are many reasons that people come to adoption but most usually it is issues with fertility.

Adopters most usually come to adoption for their own reasons, they want a child. This means you may be starting the journey from a place of loss and hurt- whist it is key that you have worked through these issues, surprisingly , this is something that gives you something in common with your future adopted child- as they have experienced loss and hurt too. There are grown up adoptee voices out there that say that children shouldn’t be there to fulfill an adults wants as they are not a commodity, their view is totally understandable, but the other choice is to stay in the care system without new parents. Foster carers do an amazing job with looked after children and many will have long term placements but if we take the view that children are not a commodity them adoption is the best course- as adopters are not paid to look after the child whereas foster carers are.

In. the U.K. a child comes into the care system due to a failure to respond to the basic needs of the child and/ or abuse. families are offered help where appropriate and a lot of work will have gone into support before a placement order is made and the child is placed into care. We don’t have a culture of giving up babies, as thankfully, attitudes have moved on towards single mothers. If you adopt, you will be aware of the family history and why the child was placed into care.

Why adopt? You are offering a child a second chance of having parent/s who will care for them and love them in a way that they deserve (there are very few birth parents that don’t love their children, it is more they cannot care for them or protect them or give them their basic needs for varied reasons). You are giving a child security (a child can have several moves of foster carer in their lives) and you are giving them a home that meets their individual needs. You will also need to be well versed in therapeutic parenting and attachment disorder as loving your child will simply not be enough, you are also to be their therapist, counselor, trusted adult and someone to absorb their hurt and loss.

What can you expect from adoption? You should expect to embark on an emotional and trying journey as you are vetted and trained. You will have to be open to discussing your own past traumas and you will be assessed as parents so that your social worker can match the right child to you. You can expect frustrating waiting times and hold ups at times and you can expect the biggest roller coaster of emotion when you embark on finding a child that you will have ever gone through, You can expect joy, frustration, confusion and fear. Ultimately you can expect a child to enter your life and your life to turn upside down. You can expect to grow together and learn together and ultimately, you can expect to be a family.




Does this all sound like hard work? Well, it is! But then again, isn’t all parenting, birth or otherwise? It is hard work but it is rewarding.If you are considering adoption, go and look at First 4 Adoption and search for your L.A. or a V.A. such as Coram and start your journey today!

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